I started to write a post about artificial intelligence but quickly lost interest, so I shelved the topic until Skynet™ goes public, so instead of writing about something I really don’t give a shit about (when the Singularity happens, if I die, we’ll all be dead anyway) I decided to write about a subject that really does interest me: Donald Trump getting indicted (again)! It speaks to the dystopian times we’re in that a recent Reuters headline (Disinformations ‘R’ Us) reads: “Indictment could propel Trump closer to 2024 Republican nomination.” Only in today’s Republican Party can the front-running candidate actually benefit from the prospect of getting convicted of sedition, proof positive that there’s no such thing as bad news in new media, but there is, quite simply, this question for Republicans: do you believe the former president* was justified in trying to stay in office, despite the fact that he clearly lost the election? My guess is the answer will be a blank stare and a statement to the effect of, “The Prosecutor is a weak little bitch for the Democrats” (actual quote from web-toed Republican Marge Taylor Green).

One of the many recent charges brought against Trump was for paying off a sex worker, not to mention his guilty verdict in the sexual assault trial brought by Elizabeth Jean Carroll (or Marla Maples, tough to tell them apart?) but to clarify, that’s only the ‘civil’ case he caught and after the rape, Trump paid a porn ‘star’ named Stormy “horse face” Daniels (real name Stephanie Clifford) to have sex with him, (this could also be called prostitution, but Melania Trump “Doesn’t really care”), where The Donald paid Stormy a lot of money to be quiet about their ‘tryst,’ hence the hush money, reportedly in the form of a $135,000 check that she cashed at the bank, but went public anyway. Apparently these acts are legal (go figure?) but because Trump wrote it off as a business expense on his taxes, it might not be completely legal. Ya gotta pay the tax on your hush money payments to porn stars in the run up to a US Presidential Election, Donnie!

He also paid off the super-fine Karen McDougal for doing the nasty while he was married to Melania and he payed this particular Karen lots of money to suffer through the nearly year-long, nasty ordeal, but she remained contractually hushed up (ethics!), but in Stormy’s defense, this Karen got $250,000 large to keep mum, or $115,000 more than Stormy got, so to hell with ‘em. She’s since been released from the contractual agreement and has dished all the facts about her affair with Orange Head to Anderson Cooper, oh, and has anyone heard from Shera Bechard lately? But I digress…

Yes, it sucks that I’m back to writing about Trump again when I promised in 2021 that I’d never write another word about him or his degenerate family, (although Baron’s still okay, for now) especially Donald Trump’s lying, fat ass (I also promised not to use the bad word ‘fat’ anymore, so I’m 0-2) but it appears that the ethically-challenged, warped Repubs are all set to nominate his lyin’ fat ass (whoops!) again as their Party’s candidate for President of these great United States.

In a recent poll, a majority of respondents shared the view that they think that Trump’s (stupid, hilarious) indictments are just political, but when it comes to a civil case for rape and for paying off a porn star just before a presidential election (also for stealing top-secret nuclear documents, I forgot about that doozy) and now the sedition, what else could it be called other than ‘political?’ Of course, it’s politics!

It may seem a bit ridiculous that Trump is only now being prosecuted for the most hilarious of his many criminal acts as president, or while becoming president, but that misses the point. In America, no one is above the law. At least that’s what we tell ourselves and of course ex-prez Trump should’ve been prosecuted a long time ago for the Russian ’hoax’ that ushered him into the White House, par example, all the way through his disgraceful behavior on January 6th as he was being run out of the People’s House on a rail. Up next in the Trump indict-a-thon: his hilarious and stupid attempt to overturn the Georgia election count in 2020. Insert favorite popcorn-eating gif here.

Carl Holt
August 1, 2023