Sucks, huh?

Anyone expressing shock, surprise and amazement at the audacious, weird, (not Art of War weird, just straight-up weird) behavior of the flip-flopping President of the United States (thank you, Saudi Arabia, UAE and Russia) and who cries in disbelief about the whole damned mess is just as stupid as the MAGA jerks to begin with, or maybe they just completely forgot what they cried themselves to sleep about on Election Day. So just lay back this time and try to enjoy some of it. Like in Deadwood days [Forgive me, finally catching up with Deadwood (2004) a few years too late]. Call this Trump’s ‘Economic Pandemic’ because his ineptitude has steered the economy into a ditch, back and up and down again, but really folks, it’s the second time he’s done this, again, (um, don’t forget about the actual pandemic) and everyone is actually surprised now. Don’t be. When you act dumb, you get taken advantage of and a sucker is born every minute. When the goofy, stupid tariffs were introduced, while the DJIA was losing 5% of its value, Trump says “only the weak will fail.” Nice.

Trump is so outrageously and dangerously fucking dumb (never mind the ageism) that he somehow looks smart. That’s his genius. Beyond the typical demagoguery [May I please just write demagogery here just to piss off my spell checker] he’s the embodiment of Marshall McLuhans’s wettest dreams about what’s hot and cold, but I’ll keep reading Daniel Boorstin while government ineptitude and failure beats out the steady drum of tribalism, but it’s really pathetic to watch and Trump is a boring, dumb ringmaster, always ready for his bawbaw of Coke. The only good thing about Trump being the face of America is his old (sorry) puffy face makes mine look positively young-ish, like a hard-living Millennial, and at 58 that’s the way it should be. Donald will be an octogenarian before I’m a sexagenarian (heh) but unlike The Donald, I don’t use any product and that works against me at this age, even my Korean Conflict (War) serving father wore the ‘ol Grecian Formula to help snag a lady or two at the karaoke bar, (actually them’s pre-karaoke days and my dad was known for performing “Ol Man River” with a live trio that was something to behold.) He was old school in so many ways that we inevitably clashed a lot and ended up on the opposite sides on many an issue, but I always respected his tenacity and courage in life. Courage can be displayed in so many ways and back then, Vietnam War dodgers weren’t very high on my dad’s list of those with a lot of courage. But here, I was separated from my father over the reality of a stupid war, and I was (and am) on Donny’s side that bone spurs should have kept him out of the military. Didn’t seem to hurt his golf game either (I hear he was the Club tournament winner this year — again!) but I’m definitely NOT on his side in how he treats and views our service personnel and almost all of our heroic veterans, who aren’t suckers, yo. And for those in the know, the formula is #44.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

— Albert Einstein

Democracy is a living thing. If you can imagine the life of our nation, we were born in sin, aged slowly and often stupidly, a stupid adolescent war between us, then some of us in the family went on to college and we all got to drinking age by the 1920s and went out of control and hit the skids. After our big comeback in the Big One, we had a well-paying, easy job through middle age, but health problems kicked in, brought on by ignoring the obvious warning signs and another stupid war and riots in the streets and [gulp, burp] Nixon, we now enter our retirement (late stage) age, where our old and decrepit American democracy has fitted ourselves with the almost-octogenarian, 79-year old certifiably insane billionaire, Donald J. Trump. If I’m an ageist, suffering from ageism, so be it. At least I said Biden was too old to be president too, conveniently just after he was elected in 2020, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is planning Donald Trump’s 2026 impeachment proceedings and I’m pulling out my popcorn-eating GIFs. That’s because our president is certifiably insane. His sane certificate that he claims to have is as worthless as a degree from Trump University. Folks, use your eyes and ears. And your brains. He’s certified insane. DSM-4 narcissist to the letter. He needs to be removed forthwith and if the vice president feels the need to resort to the 25th Amendment, I’m fine with that. C’mon people, let’s get moving! The new (American) pope is in!

Donald Trump is a narcissist, as all megalomaniacs and (wannabe) kings must be, but the only way to become a king or queen is still to be or marry an already established royal and not the old way of smiting enemy lords. No matter how much Trump tries to foment disorder and distraction, he’s no king, at least here in America, because since George Fucking Washington (sorry), we don’t do kings, and if we did, we’d have to have a good one after an ‘ochlocracy’ first, according to the great historian and thinker Polybius, and believe me, nobody wants that, least of all Donald J. Trump, but when he’s finally confronted by the ultimate truth that we all die someday, (he kinda thinks that he’s going to live forever, but the sane part of his brain that kicks in every once in a while makes him very uncomfortable about all that) and Trump can’t prepare the dauphin Barron in time, so when he’s crowned, he will not be King. He’s now and will always be a Pretender. Hence the possible ochlocracy part. Now, perhaps the bitter and contentious young(ish) Prince Eric and Don Jr. battle it out in the first parliamentary-sanctioned judicial duel since Jacques Le Gris got the ‘coup de grace’ from Jean Carrouges in 1386, but maybe in 2026 dark overlord Erik Prince steps into the octagon to challenge all in an epic, government paid-for spectacle of bloody mayhem across all platforms. The American Colosseum. 

After the wars and kings, we’d get back to big ‘D’ Democracy again, kinda like in Deadwood days, after the life and rebirth of our communities [not communism, damned spell checker]. Or, we can just impeach him. 

Carl Holt

May 16, 2025